Chuck Norris jokes

Post all of your Chuck Norris jokes here!

When the Boogie Man goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

When Chuck Norris goes for a swim, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor cried. No body smacks Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris is the reason the Mayans disappeared.

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris kicked it all the way through the Earth.

It was once said that Chuck Norris was photographed. These rumors are false.

Chuck Norris was bitten by a snake. Three days later the snake died.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Three drunk men charged towards Chuck Norris with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.

Chuck Norris was in the original Mortal Kombat; But was later removed because every button made him do a "One hit kill" RoundHouse Kick.

Chuck Norris Brought A Knife to A Shoot-Out, And Won.

Chuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company. The company field tested it but it didn't work because Chuck Norris doesn't take crap from nobody.

Chuck Norris can copy/paste on a typewriter.

Superman looks up to Chuck Norris.

It took one lick for Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop